I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
she pinky promised me she was 18
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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