do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
