He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
