Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Life is so much better after having sex.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
