you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I love having hate sex.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
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