3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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