She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
