but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
