Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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