i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
