We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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