yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
