It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
