he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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