Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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