yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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