the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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