you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
