girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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