i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
