i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
