I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Found your dick twin last night
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
