Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
