Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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