its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
