Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
