Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
