the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
