im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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