Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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