I wannas sexs uuuuu
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
