it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
