I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
