I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
