bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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