I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
