could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
