What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
