Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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