my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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