Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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