Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
