It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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