its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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