just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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