Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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