Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
