I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
