You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
There r osticjed everywhere
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
