i think i have herpe
just one?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
