This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
