Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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