I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
she pinky promised me she was 18
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
