Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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