so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
