Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
3 2 1 whiskey
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
