She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
sex in a hospital.. check
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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