can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
