Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
